Asking her father for permission to marry – Should you do it?

There’s a deep tradition of men asking fathers for permission to marry their daughters. The decision to do it or not may cause some friction or strain depending on what your partner’s parents expect. The last thing you want to have happen is an additional strain to the external relationship when you have just proposed.

What is the history of asking father for permission to marry his daughter?

This has been going on for centuries in different cultures. Fathers would usually make the decision as to whether the man asking for marriage is suited for his daughter and for joining the family. A father could refuse the marriage proposal if he deemed the gentleman unsuitable. You can click here to see more about the history of asking a father for permission to marry his daughter.

What will happen if you don’t ask her father for permission to marry his daughter?

You can propose to her directly and get her response. The father may embrace and accept your decision, while others that are more traditional may be offended that you didn’t ask and may go to drastic measures to not bless your marriage. It is best to learn in advance about the father’s stance on marriage traditions.

How do you ask a father if you can marry his daughter?

  • Arrange to meet him in person.
  • Have a casual conversation and then discuss your intentions to marry his daughter.
  • Demonstrate how you can provide a happy life for his daughter.
  • Address any concerns or reservations that he may have.
  • Get him to the point where he is happy with your intentions to marry his daughter.

How long before the proposal should you ask her father?

Definitely try to ask him before you purchase the ring and start to plan the specifics around the proposal. You want to get everyone on the same page. If possible, try to ask at least 1 month in advance, but aim for three if this is possible.

Is it ok to ask her father for permission to marry over the phone?

It depends on how traditional her father is. In an ideal situation, it would be best if you can arrange to meet her father and talk to him face to face so you can receive his blessing for your marriage proposal.

There may be situations where it isn’t possible to ask him in person. If he lives out of town or in another country, then the next best option is to ask over the phone.

It is good with technology these days because you can actually have a visual discussion via Facetime or Skype to talk about your intentions to marry his daughter. The experience may be almost like you are there.


If you can get his blessing, see if there is a way where you can get him involved in the marriage proposal process as well. This may score you extra bonus points and excite him with the prospect of marriage.

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