Having doubts about getting married? (Cold feet?)

Whether you have proposed already or you are thinking about whether or not you should propose, it is easy to have your doubts to go through with the marriage. It is a big change that will occur in your life and you will no longer be doing things for yourself, but for your partner and the family that the two of you will build together.

There are several reasons why you will have doubts about getting married. But the main thing to keep in mind is why you want to marry your partner in the first place.

If you were to ask married couples why they chose to get married, many of them will say that “They just knew.” It sounds like a cliché, but you want to go on this journey with your partner and nobody else. You will want to go through the ups and the downs of this relationship. The person will be your lover as well as your friend. But at the end of the day, the two of you will be moving forward together as a unit.

Here are a few things that you should keep in mind if you feel like you are having doubts about getting married.

You don’t feel like you can commit to one person.

If you are someone that has mingled around in the past, then you need to ensure that all of those desires to be with others have settled. Marriage is serious and you don’t want to give the other person heartbreak throughout the marriage relationship. If your intuition tells you that you are ready to commit to one partner, then follow your instinct and go ahead with the marriage. If you still feel tempted to mingle with others, then you should seriously reconsider your intentions for getting married.

There are significant differences in opinion when it comes to managing finances.

All is meant to be good in marriage if love isn’t a problem. However, financial challenges often put a significant strain on the marriage relationship. You may love the other person, but if both of you aren’t working towards similar financial goals, there will be an uneven balance in the relationship and it will cause tension and conflict in your marriage.

Before committing, have a serious discussion to ensure that the both of you are on the same page when it comes to finances and agree to a plan of action to manage the financial side of your relationship as you build an expanding family.

You are unwilling to adapt to change.

There will be many things that will change the way your relationship is leading up to the marriage and even after the marriage. You need to accept the changes and the challenges that are ahead of you. You will face challenges in your responsibilities as a man as you become a husband and a father. Your priorities will also change especially with the way that you allocate your time and finances. If you are prepared to adapt, then  you can pursue this journey. If not, you will need to rethink your position in pursuing marriage.

You are not willing to give up half of what you own.

In many Western countries, the union of marriage will also split the amount of assets between the couple. So if you are sensitive about giving up half of what you own, be it shares, property or businesses, then you should give your intention for marriage some extra thought.

Issues with the in-laws.

When marrying your partner, you will be marrying into their family. If you don’t get along with your in-laws, it will be difficult to maintain positive momentum in your relationship.

These are a few questions that you should ask yourself if you feel like you are having doubts. Be honest with yourself. Marriage is a commitment for life. You want to approach without a doubt in your mind.

A handy book that you can read is ‘1001 questions to ask before you get married’, which is available on Amazon.

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