Should you have sex before marriage?

In many cultures, it is a taboo to have sex before marriage. The reasons for it are valid, but it is also important to understand the role that sex plays in relationships and in society. When you choose to be with your partner, it is important for them to understand your position on any physical relationship before marriage, whether it is sex or non-sexual penetration, but intimate advances.

Additionally, if the role of sex before marriage is important to your partner, the both of you will need to talk and discuss how you can address sex in your pre-marital relationship.

There are a few common questions that are always searched for or asked. We’ll do our best to address these within this post.

Is sex before marriage a sin if you love the person?

There are varying arguments. There are people who say that sex before marriage isn’t a sin. But it depends on the context of the religious doctrines that you are reading. To keep it simple, we’ve referenced Christianity. You can read an interesting piece here.

However in many religious faiths or ideology that you follow, it is a sin to engage in sexual behaviour prior to marriage, whether you love the person or not. And if you do engage in sexual activity, the question that beckons is “Will God forgive me?”

This again depends on the faith and ideology that you follow. In Christianity, it is possible to have your sins washed away and forgiven.

Is it ok to have a physical relationship before marriage?

It depends. While there is a noble factor with restraining oneself from engaging in physical pleasures through sex, it is an activity that will play an important role in your marriage and relationship for the rest of your life.

Not having a physical relationship before marriage will delay addressing the role of sex in your lifestyle. Whether you choose to engage in sex before or after marriage, it is important that you and your partner realise and address the role and importance that sex will play in your lives.

Are there any psychological effects of having sex before marriage?

This differs from person to person. To some people, sex is nothing more than a recreational activity. So their enjoyment won’t leave them emotionally attached to another person.

However, many people that do engage in sex do so because they share an emotional connection with the person. Sex is the ultimate way to display ones affection to their partner and can affect their psychological attitude towards the person that they are having sex with. This may be a desire, love, infatuation or even addiction.

Should something occur in a relationship where sex plays a role, it can cause emotional trauma. Especially if the two people in the relationship have different views on the importance of sex in their relationship.

If you would like another perspective, you can also check out the book ‘Sex before marriage – How far is to far’ on Amazon.

A handy book that you can read is ‘1001 questions to ask before you get married’, which is available on Amazon.

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